Loyal Friends

Devotional for 11.28.11

Good morning, friends! What joy it is to be forever friends because we are sisters in Jesus! During the month of November we’ve joined the girls and counselors in focusing on wisdom about relationships. Let’s specifically think on the precious gift of friendship together one more time.

Turn to Proverbs chapter 20 to get wisdom that goes beyond the gold!

LOYAL FRIENDS

Many will say they are loyal friends,

but who can find one who is truly reliable?

Proverbs 20:6, NLT

In the book of Proverbs Solomon tells us that what each one of us desires is unfailing love (19:22). We want friends who will love us just the way we are, who will be there for us when we hurt, who will throw a party for us when we’re celebrating, who will extend forgiveness and grace when we mess up.  

Solomon acknowledges that these friends are rare. Many a man (woman) claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man (woman) who can find? (20:6) The Hebrew word that is often translated unfailing love is hesed. It’s a rich word that describes God’s covenant love – His mercy and steadfastness.

Lamentations 3:22-23, speaks of the merciful and steadfast love God has for us: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

God is a Friend like no other. He loves us just the way we are – God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). He’s there for us when we hurt – He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). He rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17), forgives our failures (1 John 1:9), and from the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another (John 1:16).

Dear friends, since God so loved us [with unfailing, merciful and steadfast love], we also ought to love one another (1 John 4:11). Ruth demonstrated unfailing love to her mother-in-law Naomi when she said, Don’t urge me to leave you or turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me” (Ruth 1:16-17).

Jonathan and David promised unfailing love to one another. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself (1 Samuel 18:3). Their sworn friendship translated from words to action when Jonathan warned David that King Saul wanted to kill him, and when David showed kindness to Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth, providing for all his needs and inviting him to always eat at his table (2 Samuel 9).

“Ruth” and “Jonathan”-like friends are a precious gift from God. May we seek loyal friends and be loyal friends who give unfailing love.

Wisdom Step: Think about your friendships, one by one. Are you demonstrating unfailing love?

Happiness isn’t in possessions, education, or sensory ability. Happiness is found in relationships. And life’s greatest happiness is found in life’s greatest relationship: a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Kenneth L. Tangen

True Friendship

Devotional for 11.21.11 

Let’s turn to Proverbs chapter 19 together so we can get wisdom that goes beyond the gold!

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

Wealth attracts many friends, but even the closest friend of the poor person deserts them.

Proverbs 19:4

*Sally was the new girl in our small fourth grade class. There was nothing beautiful or winsome about her. She smelled. She didn’t fit in. Thinking back on the way she dressed and the language she used, I shudder to think of what must’ve been going on in her life outside the protection of our school. Yet for a minute or two, first thing in the morning, she was the most popular child on the playground. That’s because Sally had access to candy – ring pops, candy necklaces, bubble gum, and more. She’d come with a pocketful; first come, first serve. Like a swarm of bees we gathered around Sally until the last piece of candy was dispersed. Then just as quickly as we congregated, we scattered, savoring her treats, but rejecting her. It breaks my heart to this day as I wonder whatever happened to Sally.

What took place on our school playground is not unique or isolated. In Proverbs 19:4 and 7 we learn, Wealth attracts many friends, but even the closest friend of the poor person deserts them. The poor are shunned by all their relatives – how much more do their friends avoid them! Though the poor pursue them with pleading, they are nowhere to be found.

The wealthy have many friends, the poor has a friend.  It’s a sad commentary on the reality of human relationships. Left to the natural inclination of our sinful hearts, we’re attracted to people who have things we want – whether that’s resources, opportunities, or position. If our primary goal in seeking a friend is what we will gain, then the flip side of the coin is that those who lack resources will be bankrupt of friends as well.

Who are your and my friends? Do we love them for who they are or what they can do for us? Do we choose friends based on their Christ-like character or out of mere convenience? Are our relationships sacrificial or self-seeking?  

1 Corinthians 13 wisely points us to what true friendship looks like: Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasures in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end (MSG).

Wisdom Step: Think about your closest friends. What is the motivation for choosing them as friends? How can you love them the way God loves you?   

We can’t be stingy about the way we love people;

go for broke.

Bob Goff

*Name has been changed.

In Community

Devotional for 11.7.11

Let’s turn to Proverbs chapter 18 together so we can get wisdom that goes beyond the gold!

IN COMMUNITY

An unfriendly man (woman) pursues selfish ends; he (she) defies all sound judgment.

Proverbs 18:1

Although Muppet character Oscar the Grouch lives on Sesame Street, you may know a person or two in your neighborhood with a character quality that resonates with his name. Proverbs 18:1 has a clear message for grouches: An unfriendly man (woman) pursues selfish ends; he (she) defies all sound judgment. Although it serves as a reminder for all of us to be friendlier and to smile more, it runs much deeper than that. At its core, it is wisdom about living in community, in relationship with one another.

He (She) who separates himself (herself) seeks his (her) own desire, he (she) quarrels against all sound wisdom  (NASB, emphasis added).

A man (woman) who isolates himself (herself) seeks his (her) own desire; he (she) rages against all wise judgment (NKJV, emphasis added).

Loners who care only for themselves spit on the common good (MSG, emphasis added).

The Proverbs 18:1 message is clear. It’s foolish to intentionally separate yourself from the faithful and wise community of believers. There should be no lone rangers within God’s family. Stubborn independence goes against sound wisdom, wise judgment, and the common good of the body.

It’s hard work to live in community. Personalities clash. Opinions collide. Petty disagreements ignite into full-flamed conflict. When the dust settles, foolish people may get what they desire, but they’ll lose out on the sound wisdom and relationships that they need.

The New Testament word for community is koinoœnia. It means partnership, communion, participation, and fellowship. We celebrate koinoœnia in Communion. We put it into practice when we share our lives (1 Thessalonians 2:8), our property (Acts 4:32), the gospel (Philippians 1:5), and share in Jesus’ suffering and glory (1 Peter 4:13).   

Can you think of someone within God’s family whom you’ve separated yourself from or maybe he or she has made the choice to separate from you? Paul gives us practical wisdom on relationships in Romans 12:9-21, including this command: If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (v18). Is that always easy? No. Is it the wisest choice you can make? Every time.

Wisdom Step: If there is division between you and another person within the body of Christ today, seek to do your part to live in community.   

If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even where there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty; if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is so paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer